


Hopes and Dreams

by Kingdomfictionalia



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Young Amy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingdomfictionalia/pseuds/Kingdomfictionalia
Summary: “Life. Can you tell me if it gets better?” Amy encounters her younger self in a dream finding the question more complicated than she thought. Post-series one-shot. Amy centric.
Relationships: Sheldon Cooper/Amy Farrah Fowler
Kudos: 20





	Hopes and Dreams

Amy's eyes adjusted to the brightness around her. _I must be dreaming_ , she thought. Everything was white and quiet and she felt lost. It seemed like the space had no ends. It was then she heard the sobs that echoed across, she looked around and saw in the near distance a young girl sitting all alone. Her curiosity got the best of her and she approached slowly. She was concerned as to why she was there and what caused her to cry.

She didn't spend a lot of time around kids but she hoped that she would be able to comfort her. When the young girl turned around to look at her, Amy gasped; it was her younger self, she was certain. She never had this dream before and it felt a little unnerving. She noticed the tears in her eyes and Amy took a tentative step forward, afraid that she would scare her off.

"A-are you okay?" Amy asked.

The young girl sniffled before turning away from her. She was hugging her knees, with a stuffed monkey lying beside her.

Amy swallowed the lump in her throat and sat down in front of her younger self. It was weird, seeing herself like this, especially with the similarities so uncanny. The tears continued to flow down her cheeks and Amy shifted her gaze to the space in front of them. Her heart broke immediately seeing the torn papers and ruined books scattered around. It was hers, the sketches of the brain she spent hours trying to copy from one of her textbooks. It dawned on her what happened; a flashback went through her head.

"Who is it this time?" She asked quietly, her fingers reaching out to the torn papers.

The girl hugged her knees tighter as she looked into the open white space. Her blank expression betrayed the tears in her eyes and the broken voice that came from her lips, "mom," she choked out.

Amy's pained expression deepened. Even in her dreams, the past was haunting her, as if she could never escape the cruelness of her childhood. Her mom had never been supportive of her dreams and interests. One minute she would force Amy to stay at home to avoid other children and the next minute she would berate her for not being like the other kids. It was always a battle between fitting in and knowing who she really was. It confused her to no end each time her mother would compare her to the kids she was teaching at school. When would she be enough as a daughter?

Amy took a deep breath, "I'm sorry," she offered softly.

It was eerily silent and the vast space around them made Amy feel so small. A sad smile formed on her lips knowing that it must what her younger self was feeling right now.

"Does it get better?" Her younger self asked.

Amy furrowed her eyebrows, "what is?"

The girl shrugged, "life. Can you tell me if it gets better?"

Tears stung her eyes as she processed the question. It was laced with such desperation and pain that she now wondered how she got through all those years alone. Would she tell herself that? That it took more than 30 years for her life to get better? Would it be better if she lied and tell the young girl beside her that it would get better soon?

"You can tell me if it doesn't…I guess I'm used to it by now…I should be used to it by now," Amy heard her whisper.

"N-no it does get better…"

"But?"

Amy bit her lip as her younger self turned to look at her. She looked back at the wide eyes behind the thick glasses, the ones that held so much emotions, as her father always said. The eyes that sparkled with interest and curiosity for things that were beyond her years.

Amy exhaled slowly before looking away. "It's gonna take a while and the loneliness sticks with you. The memories stick with you. It's going to be you against the world, your potential against your insecurities, your resilience against multitude of obstacles."

The girl nodded slowly, and looked towards the open space, "but you made it."

Amy sighed in contentment, "I did."

"How?"

Amy smiled widely, "I had Science to keep me company and I found the right people when I least expected it…eventually."

The young girl turned to her sharply, "you did?" She asked in wonder.

"Yes. They're the reason I am who I am today. They've accepted me despite my quirks and appreciated me for what I'm good at. They love me as I am." Her mind wandered over the last 10 years of her life. How things had changed and how much she had grown. It was because of a dirty sock and a pathetic annual agreement that started it all.

"Is it worth it? Too wait that long?"

 _Is it?_ Amy asked herself. It is true that life hadn't been kind to her, overtime she had accepted the idea that maybe she would live life alone and Science was all she had. But as she looked back to the struggles she went through and the life she had now, she was most definitely certain it was worth.

"Very. It takes a lot of strength, of course."

"But I'm scared, what if I don't make it?" Amy could hear the fear behind her question. She had asked that question to herself when she was young and to hear it again after all these years felt bittersweet.

"You will. I promise," Amy said to her with so much conviction hoping it would lessen the panic in the young girl's mind.

She was starting to wonder why she was in this kind of dream at all. She and Sheldon just got back from Sweden after receiving their Nobel Prize. It had been a monumental day for both of them, but more so for Amy, being only the fourth woman to win the Prize in Physics. Maybe it was because of that, she had already achieved everything she hoped for and more; She had a great life despite her miserable childhood.

The young girl seemed to feel much better and Amy wondered when she would wake up from her dream, "did you hear that?"

Amy looked at her in confusion, "hear what?"

"That voice," the young girl explained. "Someone's calling our name."

Amy strained her ears and listened. The familiar voice registered in her mind and she smiled; it was Sheldon. "I guess I have to go."

"Who is it?"

Amy smiled coyly, "my husband."

The young girl's eyes widened, "really?"

Amy nodded enthusiastically as she stood up. She held out her hand to her younger self before pulling her up. They stared at each other before she asked, "can I give you a hug?"

The young one nodded and stepped closer to her. Amy easily wrapped her arms around her, "it gets better. It's worth it…a life with him is worth it," she whispered and closed her eyes.

As soon as the words left her, she felt different. She opened her eyes expecting to see the open space in her dream, instead she was back in the bedroom, Sheldon looking down at her.

His face was contorted in worry before he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "are you okay? You've been mumbling for some time already, is it a bad dream?"

Amy sighed and snuggled close to her husband, "no, it was fine." She felt Sheldon's lips against her hair.

"Promise?"

Amy looked up at him, her face resting on his chest, "I promise," she replied before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Okay good."

Amy closed her eyes feeling more grateful for everything in her life. Her final thoughts went back to her younger self, _it gets better,_ her mind echoed and she hoped it was enough for the young girl to believe. She made it through after all.


End file.
